Shimmer

The world bends around you
As if it is moved by your presence
The beams of New York
Oh how they shimmer when you are near

They begin to give way
Bending slightly into a wave
Waves that have lost their place
Waves that belong in a small lake

Made from a small stone
A stoned skipped across the surface
Each causing a cascade of ripples
A new ripple with every hop

But maybe the ripple of the beams is not out of place
Maybe they ripple because you are that stone
That small stone that slides across the pond
Effecting everything within

Effecting everything, even me.

Language

There are words I don't know
I am lacking
Because I am lacking I cannot feel
Because how can I feel what I don't know

Everything is dull
Like a sword that has seen too much use
Recieved too little care
And has never been sharpened

It is unloved
And in turn can never offer love
How can it offer what it has never had
How can it feel what it does not know

It does not know the words
It has been silenced
It cannot be understood
It is mute

Mute in the body
Mute in the spirit
There is nothing
Was there ever anything

I cannot say because I am mute
Mute in the body
Mute in the spirit
Because I don't know the words

Reasons

My heart feels like it's boiling
I've tried to convince it to stop
I've tried to explain the reasons
The things against the reasoning my heart works under

But no matter how much I explain
No matter how much I beg
No matter how much I lie
My heart keeps boiling

I sit in front of a mirror staring at my face
I tell my heart that I have many options
That I need not wait for one
But my heart continues to boil

You see my hearts has its reasons
It has just as many reasons as my mind
They are logical and I understand them
But that is the worst part

I understand them so well that it hurts
I cannot deny them
My heart is right and my mind agrees
That is why I can't stop it

If only it was unreasonable
If I could scream with earnest that it is untrue
But lets face it
I can't control this feeling

Maybe my heart needs to boil
Maybe it will all evaporate in the sky
Maybe I will feel completely free then
Free from this feeling

But right now I can't escape
I don't know if I want to escape
But I should escape
If only escape was an option

I guess for now my heart will keep boiling

Falling

I'm falling but i don't know where to
Will I hit the ground as a rotten apple splatters beneath a tree
Will I explode as I hit the ozone layer, fighting to get through

With limitless options of things I can fall into
There is only one thing I am assured of
That I am falling

Where to I do not know
But I can feel the speed of my descent
I can feel the air pressing against my feet

I do not know the distance I will fall
Time has become a mystery I cannot solve
A piece of information I lost long ago

All I understand is that I'm falling

A pair

The ball came quickly

It cut through the air

One second he saw it

The next it wasn't there

He swung his bat 

Swift as could be 

The clunk went unheard 

It was a strike indeed

He swung his head low

Chin to the ground

Then turned it slow

Seeing pitchers mound

Stood atop 

A bright ball of glee

Surrounded by friends 

Cheering the win

He lifted his head up 

He looked around

So filled with angst and anger

He did not hear the sound

He did not feel their touch

Or hear the stumping of their feet

Nor the sound of their hands

As one touched down

He couldn't hear or feel it land

In his own misery

He swam around

Too far below 

To even see the ground

See the cheers of his friends

Their screams of good try

The smiles on there face

Lost in his mind

As he waddled home

As tired as could be

The only thing he thought

"Why me?"

"He was not that good

His pitches sucked

I didn't hit them

Because I had to duck"

He turned over
He flopped into his bed
He would never admit
That it was his fought the other team led

Serious

I walk down a road
I don't know where it ends
But how could I pinpoint this
When I don't know where it began

I remember a start
But I can't tell you the place
I can't explain the exact feeling
As I started searching for my place

I guess there was no point
No point that I know
It was like it was alive
My start just began to grow

One day I was walking
To no particular place
I suddenly felt purpose
It was on a random day

One day I thought maybe
The next I thought it possible
By the time I new it was probable
It was definitely so

So I walk down this road
Untraveled for a while
I can tell by the weeds
And missing parts of the ground

I can see the holes
where the road used to be
I saw a plant grow before me
The beginning of a tree

As I count my steps
I look down to see
That something has disappear
The cement beneath me

Someone once had laid it
I guess only this far
I can feel the gravel moving
I can see the dirt from afar

The road has become narrow
It is barely a path
But I must keep traveling
Even if the path will not last

I have to climb now
I can no longer walk
I feel my arms ache
They can only pull me so far

I look beneath me
There is no ground
If my arms gave out now
I would fall straight down

I want to turn back
Go back down
Before the road ended
When I was on solid ground

But turning back would be deadly
I have to see this through
My arms will not give out
That is the only thing they must do

As I pulled myself further
I felt flares of pain
My arms were giving out
Then it began to rain

I could feel the pitter-patter
The drops hit my hands
I felt the same rhythm
When my steps used to hit land

The mountain became slippery
I could feel my loosening grip
This may be the end now
And surely I slipped

I fell fast
I tumbled far
I tried to grab on
But everything was too far

I twisted in the air
I aligned my body right
Before I hit the ground
I would give a good fight

I suddenly saw branch
I quickly grabbed tight
My body swung through the air
As I held on with all my might

I then found a foot hole
A place I could rest
I began to climb
I had passed my first test

The mountain was not as scary
I could survive on my own
I could make my own path
The cement was long gone

I reached the top
Viewing all that was below
I could see where I had been
Though not yet where I would go

I saw a little girl
Following my old path
She would have to climb soon
And my path would not last

I searched for a large stick
I quickly found mud
I cemented it in place
Beneath my fatal flaw

I new that she would fall
Hopefully not as far
I would not stop it
The fall helped me get far

I gave her one last look
Then quickly scurried away
My path I take alone
It will end one day

Death Master

He swoops in at night
Never bothering to knock
He has every key
He can unlock any lock

Sometimes he comes swiftly
Often he takes his time
Everything is on his schedule
Nothing is on mine

Sometimes I scream
I scream for more years
I need more time
Time I'm willing to endear

But when I scream
He does not listen
Even when I beg
I need more time here


But he will not wait
He has no reason to
He says its too late
My time is due

As he grabbed me one night
Despite my plea
And told me the truth
One not just for me

"You are on my time
This is my choice
You are on my schedule
With me you have no voice"

I tried to get away
I twisted in fear
His grip was cold
His stare was clear


"I am taking you now
But I will take them soon
No one can get away
They will come too"

I twisted again
Fist in the air
I hit him hard
He did not care

"This is my time
This is my place
You are all in line
You just didn't know your place"

I stopped my struggle
I could no longer fight
He had swooped me away
And it was within his rights

Stripped Cheeks

Rolling up a gentle hill
Reaching the peak
Rolling down again
Beneath where it started
It has won the race
Before others departed

It kept rolling out the door
It had a purpose
But no one knew what for

What could it be
Why run the race
All it did was leave a wet path
Right down a face

Why was the race started
What was the prize
Does anyone know
Or did he just need to cry

As the race continued
He huddled in his bed
Wishing he could change
What he never did

Unable to make a decision
Concerning what he knew was forbidden

He pulled out his wallet
He found a hidden picture
It was a picture of his last day with her

She had went away
She had flown the coop
She had left shattered
Without knowing that he was too

He rolled on his back
Though what was the point
He had hurt the one he loved
Because of medieval points

He looked at his book
His book of words
Thousands of years of wisdom
He had never heard

He had read them in silence
He thought he had learned well
But those words were meaningless
Because his heart was in hell

He curled in a ball
Holding her picture
Knowing that at least his tears would always be with her

In My Name

I remember the day I gave my all
I offered my friendship
And you took it all
More than what was given
More than I expected

I thought things would be even
I thought you would be fair
But the more I gave
the less you were there

I remember days
Those now long past
Where I accepted the lies
And pretended not to grasp

But then I woke up
And the truth started to fly
I took back what was mine
Then hurled the rest to the sky

But I could not forgive
Because I could not forget
I decided to take away from you
What I could never get

I held my head tall
And thrust my hands out
I took what I deserved
knowing it would be the only apology I got

Sliver

From far away there is a light
Not any light
The light
It does not shine brightly
Sending waves of pain through my eyes

It is dull
Only seen through a small crack

It is dull yet so clear
Surrounded by darkness it stands out
It is a beacon, a hope for more
But more what

More wisdom
More Knowledge
More Love
More Understanding

Maybe it is everything rolled into one
One crooked line sliding across the surface
A crack in the world we know
The darkness we feel as we move

But in the end it is just a crack
It will give no freedom
Provide no enlightenment
Save no soul

It is just a sliver that i can rub my finger against
Feel the cold touch of the wall
The changes in directions as it juts right then left

It is just a sliver of possibility
And my hand is too large to grasp it

Why You

When I open my eyes
Why is it you

Why can no day pass
Without your name passing my lips
Without thoughts of you crossing my mind

When I close my eyes
Why do you hunt my dreams
But I guess you don't hunt them
Because every moment of you I enjoy

When I cannot see you
your are an eye lids length away
I close my eyes and you surround me

But the next morning you're gone
To one country or another

I want to call you
but I shouldn't
I want to hear you
but I can't

I have to let you live the life you want
I have to learn to make a life for me

We have always been friends
Yet so far away
Until recently I too was oblivious

But now I know you're everything I want
But why you

Why are you perfect to me
Why do we want the same thing
Enjoy the same activities
Ponder the same thoughts

But today i'll let you go
Because I know me
And you are like me

I cannot hold you tightly
Or I guarantee you'll slip away
I can't make you hold me
For you will fight every moment

I can just let you go
Today I will let you go
Hoping your vision clears by tomorrow
I pray mine remains clear until then

I Could Be Poetic

I stare at the stars wondering

Will they suddenly crash upon me

Leaving me in a mass of burning rubble

Will I feel the scorch of the earth beneath me

Heating, burning, suffocating me

every sharp intake of breath

every shallow inhalation

But this is what you would expect if I were poetic

I could describe my pain in a million words

Describe my love in a billion

Then describe my hopes in a trillion more

But that were only if I wanted to be poetic

I could elongate the falling of these stars

Elongate their impact

Elongate their passage through the atmosphere

With only one target

me

I could tell you the story of the ruckuss they caused

How I heard them before I felt their scorching heat

Before their fire flakes touched my skin

Each leaving a different engraving

That would never disappear

But I’m not poetic

I can’t drag out every emotion

When I think love

I only say love

I don’t say I feel as if my heart has been put on ice

Frozen yet still trying to beat through the cold

Forming cracks as it tries to survive

Not caring if a single crack becomes an array

Because in truth it is just trying to beat for you

It is fighting so hard to just be a centimeter

A millimeter

Hell even a micrometer closer to you

Even if it shatters in the process

But that is how I would describe love

if I were poetic

But I’m not poetic

If I want to say hate

I say hate

I may switch it up and say despise

I don’t say that I see your image and something in me begins to twist

Deform

Grow in a twisted manner

That not even I can control

It grows beyond me

Reaching beyond my conscious mind

Doing everything it can

Out of the subconscious hope

That you will feel one tingle of the pain you have caused me

But that is how I would describe hate if I were poetic

But by now I think you all get it

I’m not poetic

When those stars hit me I can’t describe it

I can’t say that I stared at them

Hoping they did not miss their target

Hoping their sound was as great as their force

Hoping they would knock me so far down

that every feeling would be left behind me

But as I’m sure you all know

I’m not poetic

I say things in simple terms

Layman terms

Terms everyone knows

But no one truly understand

Not because they are hard

But because they are general

I do this because this is all I can do

I just wanted you to know what I would say

If I could be poetic