Da De Di

Is it the way she smiles
The way the air around her seems light
When she walks in the room
Bubbling with joy
Skipping to an imaginary beat
Facing the world as if it worked for her

Her friends say they love her
Her life seems a dream
And you think there is nothing she must want
How can she want when everything is perfect
Perfect for her
Perfect World
Right

She doesn't have to try, want,  hurt
Cause the world comes to her
It bends for her
Calls for her
Skips to her tune
Da de di da de dum
That's her drum

Her world
Her dream
Her life
But then there is bump
A little tap that went tick
A tick that became a tak

Then it entered her dream
That dream that was her life
The life that made the world
Tak
Tak
Take

The tak took
The tak turned
That dream polluted
The life polluted
Her world polluted
heavy air
the skip pushed to a crawl

No more
Da de di da de dum, her drum
Only
Da de tick
Da de di tak
No more Da de di da de dum
Drum

Can you hear me?

Should I scream

With silence I've learned I'm not heard

Should I whisper

Will the softness of my tone make you consider

Can you hear it

Beating the rhythm, that sad blues

Blues singing jazz

Do you like the tune

If I sway my hips

Will your hearing improve

The swish of satisfaction

I see you like those moves

But if all you hear is the swish

Do you hear my tune

Or do you only hear that sad sad blues

Lost

I feel lost

Like the world has lost me

All the changes 

All the time

Never right

I feel lost

Like its crashing down

Always cries

Always thinking

Never changing

I feel lost

Like I'm drowning from

Always hurting

All the Sorrow

Never enough

I'm going under

Consumed

You tried to break me
In the process of breaking yourself
You tried to break me

Back across knee
Pushing
Pushing so hard it snapped and cracked

Crackling like the fireplace
The burn as I fell into the flame
Flames that consumed me

But you see
They became me
One

One breath the saved me
Falling in ashes inhaling the smoke
It  didn't burn me

my chest did not heave
It did not tumble
But it consumed the smoke that was of flames

Those flames that had burned me
On the inside strength
Stronger

Strong enough to go
To be
Just me

A new definition
The love of alone
Free

A new world

I'm all on my own
In a place that is strange
All the rules I once knew
Have suddenly changed

There are all these expectations
Things they want me to be
All these things they say I should do
But i never know which ones in truth

I was told to give a gift
But when the time came
They kept saying no
As a formality they say

I never know when i should stand
Or when I should sit
And all the bowing
I can't get the hang of it

And these weird little sticks
They drive me insane
If I keep depending on them
I may starve in exchange

The cars come so suddenly
There is nowhere to walk
I just wish that near my house
There was a side walk

And when the bus comes
They just push me aside
One thing this culture hasn't heard of
Is obviously a line

And one thing i can't get used to
Is all of the stares
All I keep hearing is
"Look at the foreigner over there"

I didn't want to talk of cabs
But now I'm on a rant
Stop hitting on me
I'm really tired of it

And a shout out for my friend
If you all don't know
Stop asking if she's Russian
Here that means a hoe

And if they say your glamorous
Don't be quick to smile
He's not looking at your eyes
He's looking down

But there are many things
You still don't know
It isn't all bad
At least I don't think so

Here there is always a helping hand
When one is in need
They tell me how things work
Even the simply things

And that gift I gave
It did not cost much
But the appreciation they showed
My heart was touched

Though I may not know when to bow
They always go that extra mile
And often accept
A knowing nodding smile

And I've had a revelation
About these little sticks
They are quite useful
I've got the hang of it

And there are no sidewalks
This is very true
But it makes it so there is more room
For places you can go to

And when getting on the bus
They may push their way through
But if I'm asleep at my stop
They'll give me a little shove too

And they may say foreigner as I walk by
But it is out of curiosity
And they take the time
To see how I'm doing in this new country

And when I get cabs
They often try to talk
I've had drivers teach me helpful words
Like right, left and stop

And they may ask if she's Russian
But they won't push the topic
Usually they are pretty kind
And apologize when they stop it

Glamorous I may be
And yes some guys stare
But most guys are really respectful
And keep their eyes away from there

In all honestly
I like my new home
Its definitely not the same
But that's what I'm here for

The places are really interesting
The people are really kind
I can even walk down the street
Without a worry late at night

I'm not saying its perfect
It has its flaws
But in the end it isn't a bad place to be
I like it overall

My scars

Life has many faults that the human eyes perceive
Things don't work the way we believe
We constantly stumble
Sometimes we fall
Then we recover only to fail

We try to escape it
No one wants to stumble, fall,or fail
We look at our choices
Life gave two
We either get some bruises
Or we can simply stand still

But I don't want to just stand
I want to walk, run and fly through the sky
Even if I fail and my fall makes me die
At least I know that I fell from a great height
I stumbled from the top
I earned every bruise
And I'll wear them with pride

Cause when we fall we learn to stand
When we stumble we learn to balance
When we fail we learn to succeed
I wish to continue to stumble, fall and fail
Until I achieve these skills
And use them to fly away to the life my eyes perceive

Buzzed

I used to think with my mind
I never fell in love
All those feeling people spoke of
Sounded like being buzzed

I didn't want to change
I liked how I thought
I never felt trapped
I never felt lost

Then I met a stranger
I could no longer think
All my rules changed
No longer applying to me

All of a sudden I was blind
Blinded from my thoughts
Distracted by my heart
Trapped in my fault

I was buzzed