Dark Hearts

I felt its presence as it slithered near

But I was blinded

Too afraid to admit fear

I approached it as a friend

And showed a brave face

But I knew what was coming before the first taste

I could say I was tricked

I can scream deceit

But in the end the only trickster was me

For my own sanity I was dishonest with myself

It blatantly showed its ferocity 

Even as I knelt 

The fangs pressed against skin

It gave quickly to my new friend

Then the venom began to drip within

It moved far but took no time

Straight to the heart 

A heart that was once mine

I felt it turn from red to black

Between spasms it withered

Leaving large gaps

Once so strong 

It could now easily crumble

Suddenly I felt weak and humble

As I ran from my new fate

I decided to hide my heart

To keep it hidden in a dark place

Protecting it from all

As those who have felt the venom must

Just to keep it from crumbling into dust

70

She pulled a cake from the fridge

It said happy birthday to the husband she loved

She placed it onto the table admiring her handy work

He liked the color red and the flavor of vanilla

She went to a drawer and found the perfect candles

The thin stripped candles that were red all over

Slowly she opened the pack

And sat at the table across from an empty chair 

Placing each candle precisely

A slow task it was to place thirty candles

Her hands shook uncontrollable 

She noted this was common for old age

She then lit the candles one by one

She sat and stared, never averting her gaze

The candles began to melt

As they melted, they waited

For the wind that would never come to blow them out

They melted into puddles

The puddles covered the cake

Every inch of vanilla frosting covered in a deep red

Covered until the red words could no longer be seen

Finally the candles went out

Smothered by their own wax

The wax hardening across the icing

She wondered who would light the candles when she was gone

Who would remember his name 

Who would remember what he loved

Thirty years had gone by 

Since the day people began to forget who he was

And she knew that one day soon he would be lost to history

Honesty

For a minute I will sit down,

And in this minute I will be honest with you

I choose to forget those who have caused me pain

"Why" you ask

Because it's easier to forget a person

You remove everything that reminds you of them

Extract every person you knew in common

Every picture discarded

All contact information removed

However, true pain is hard to forget

True pain is caused not by a childish act

But pain caused by a feeling of betrayal 

A feeling that cannot be left behind so easily

It is simply easier to forget the person

In the amnesic state they become irrelevant

And in their irrelevance they loss power over your emotions

Once they are irrelevant their actions become irrelevant

As you forget them you forget everything

Then one day you wake up

You no longer know their name

Then you no longer know that you once knew their name

The only thing left is a dull lifeless pain that is a shadow of what they caused

In this you truly forget not just them but their actions

Shimmer

The world bends around you
As if it is moved by your presence
The beams of New York
Oh how they shimmer when you are near

They begin to give way
Bending slightly into a wave
Waves that have lost their place
Waves that belong in a small lake

Made from a small stone
A stoned skipped across the surface
Each causing a cascade of ripples
A new ripple with every hop

But maybe the ripple of the beams is not out of place
Maybe they ripple because you are that stone
That small stone that slides across the pond
Effecting everything within

Effecting everything, even me.

Language

There are words I don't know
I am lacking
Because I am lacking I cannot feel
Because how can I feel what I don't know

Everything is dull
Like a sword that has seen too much use
Recieved too little care
And has never been sharpened

It is unloved
And in turn can never offer love
How can it offer what it has never had
How can it feel what it does not know

It does not know the words
It has been silenced
It cannot be understood
It is mute

Mute in the body
Mute in the spirit
There is nothing
Was there ever anything

I cannot say because I am mute
Mute in the body
Mute in the spirit
Because I don't know the words

Reasons

My heart feels like it's boiling
I've tried to convince it to stop
I've tried to explain the reasons
The things against the reasoning my heart works under

But no matter how much I explain
No matter how much I beg
No matter how much I lie
My heart keeps boiling

I sit in front of a mirror staring at my face
I tell my heart that I have many options
That I need not wait for one
But my heart continues to boil

You see my hearts has its reasons
It has just as many reasons as my mind
They are logical and I understand them
But that is the worst part

I understand them so well that it hurts
I cannot deny them
My heart is right and my mind agrees
That is why I can't stop it

If only it was unreasonable
If I could scream with earnest that it is untrue
But lets face it
I can't control this feeling

Maybe my heart needs to boil
Maybe it will all evaporate in the sky
Maybe I will feel completely free then
Free from this feeling

But right now I can't escape
I don't know if I want to escape
But I should escape
If only escape was an option

I guess for now my heart will keep boiling

Falling

I'm falling but i don't know where to
Will I hit the ground as a rotten apple splatters beneath a tree
Will I explode as I hit the ozone layer, fighting to get through

With limitless options of things I can fall into
There is only one thing I am assured of
That I am falling

Where to I do not know
But I can feel the speed of my descent
I can feel the air pressing against my feet

I do not know the distance I will fall
Time has become a mystery I cannot solve
A piece of information I lost long ago

All I understand is that I'm falling